What could have been … writing is REWRITING.

imgres

We have something new for you in this post. Normally, our excerpts are from book 1 in the Necromancers’ Pride Saga, Quest for Elderstone. Today, however, we have opted to share with you an excerpt that did not make the cut from book 2, Tides of War.

As D.W. and I have often said, writing is rewriting. I wish it could be said that everything we try is successful, but that is wishful thinking. Even though we like what we write, we are always trying to improve upon it, to create scenes that will move you, our readers, emotionally and viscerally. That was the case in book 1, as you can see by this excerpt, it was the case in book 2 and it will continue to be the case in book 3, Storm of Shadows. We hope you enjoy this first deleted excerpt from Tides of War.

NP-symbol

            “And Velladriana was saying, ‘Stop them. Stop them,’ over and over. Then, and this is where it really became strange, her eyes glazed over, becoming virtually white,” said Harper.

            “And she began chanting,” Rogen added.

            “Chanting and gesturing, yes. Her arms wide in the air. She was speaking in a tongue that was foreign to me. She started to shake. I went over to her, but after hearing what happened to you when you touched her back at the Post, I opted not to touch her.”

            “A wise choice,” Corwyn said. When last he had endeavored to touch Velladriana in a trancelike state, he was nearly thrown through a wall.

            “So, she was chanting and shaking,” she continued, “perspiring as if she had run the entire length of Bronell’s Ridge. And that is when …”

            “The thunder rolled,” Corwyn finished her story.

            “So she called down the thunder on us,” Rogen concluded.

            “So it would seem,” Corwyn said flatly. 

            “Shoulda’ been nicer to her when we met.” Rogen shook his head, the braids in his dirty, matted, blonde hair and beard swaying in dismay.

            “I do not think you should worry too greatly about that,” Corwyn said. “We do have other concerns, though.”

            “Namely, if it really was her controlling the thunder and lightning,” Harper said, “why would she want to stop you with it?”

            “I admit, it does not make sense,” Corwyn mused. “Although, when her powers first flared, she did almost take my soul.” He stared into the fire, deep in thought.

            Harper and Rogen exchanged wide-eyed looks across the fire. Rogen patted his chest cautiously, as if checking to make sure his soul was still in place.

            “Well, that does prove to be problematic,” Harper said flatly.

            “We’ve got bigger problems than that,” Eryk said, entering the cave. He moved stiffly, his arms out at his sides, stopping just inside the ring of firelight. Corwyn noticed that Eryk was conspicuously not wearing his weapon.

            Corwyn and Rogen immediately knew the danger, and Harper was quick to catch on. Rogen grabbed the hilt of his mighty two-handed sword and unsheathed it, rising quickly to his feet. Corwyn put his hand Taryn’s hilt, reaching out into the night with his heightened senses. Immediately understanding their situation, he reached a calming hand out to Rogen.

            “Sit down, Rogen, be at peace,” Corwyn said slowly.

            “Yes, Rogen, be at peace,” Eryk said, his eyes gesturing for Rogen to sit.

            “Why?” Rogen growled. He obviously did not like being told to back down.

            The pull of a dozen bowstrings going taught in the darkness beyond the cave caught Rogen’s attention.

“Because,” Corwyn said calmly, his hand sliding away from Taryn’s hilt and joining his other one in the air, “in here, we are fish in a barrel.”

Necromancers’ Pride – Tides of War (deleted excerpt)

What did you think of this version as opposed to the one in Tides of War?

This is your community. We want to hear from you.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.